If You had my life, would you have been half so brave?
I wrote this in a moment of angst. I own my body now so none of this applies to present day me. But it did, once upon a not-so-distant time.
Well, hello my Substack friends.
My past week was of reflection & deep thinking.
A book I was reading set it off. The train of thoughts ran on; my over thinking mind be damned.
I’ve been thinking of sexism. As a plain (if not rather ugly) child I faced it growing up. I’ve been thinking of how women’s bodies are reduced to mere objects- either of pleasure or displeasure. If we look good we make men happy. If we don’t, we become the butt of jokes. So, our existence is deemed unimportant except in relation to men.
I looked plain, my clothes low on style.
You called me ugly and ran from me a mile.
I topped my class and the entire dorm.
You called me a bookworm!
I got a job and earned a buck.
You said that was plain luck.
I let my hair down for a bit of fun.
You called me the crazy one.
I wore make up, I dressed nice.
You called me a slut; said I would pay the price.
I worked hard, I got promoted.
You said sleeping with the boss got me sorted.
I found love- I married a nice guy.
You said for me his money is the icing on the pie.
I had kids so my job took a hike.
You said what a waste of a life!
I took up a hobby for my emptiness to fill.
You said I had time to kill.
I am old now; I want my space and pace.
You call me selfish and without grace.
You have judged me from cradle to the grave.
I wonder- if You had my life, would you have been half so brave?
I’ve been reading H.L. Mencken lately; he wrote a lot about women, mostly very positively. He makes this point, about men having an almost (biological) pathological inability to fully view women (especially when we’re in our teens/twenties) as whole human beings. We’re (men) sucked into the vortex of sexual objectification. Sad but true, and I think unavoidable. But ideally we men grow beyond this. I have, but it’s taken time. Of course I don’t mean any of this in an entirely easy black/white binary. It’s more nuanced than that. I’ve always had more women friends than male. I find women smarter in certain ways, deeper, more honest and open.