Know The 3 Reasons You Chase Love Intently
How it is your fault when your bleeding heart breaks time & again
Sourced from Open Peeps & designed in Canva
The time-honored secret women won’t kiss & tell is that they chase love! Now that the secret is (gasp!) out in the open, shall we talk about what maketh the female a hunter?
You chase love to enjoy the thrill of the pursuit.
If you are a woman who finds herself at the wrong end of the chase time & again, it could be worrisome news. Because you chase men who treat you like a rag doll don’t you sister? You chase love that abuses & discards. Ouch!
What makes an otherwise sane woman like you do the chase? It could be one of these 3 reasons:
You chase love to get what you can’t have.
Unrequited love is not just the stuff of high school rom coms. You land a punch to your ego when you chase men who are difficult to attain. But you still do the chase.
The cute guy you were besotted by but looked right through you in high school. The boy you would have given an arm & a leg to have a last dance with. The man who kept you up all night with a flimsy promise to call. They have taken turns to maul at your bleating desolate heart.
Some women get their thrill, their adrenalin rush by coveting unattainable men. But it is so only when they don’t take the time to sort their mess.
When you get your shot of sinful heaven & heartbreak hell from a man you think is too good for you, you are actually struggling to know & accept yourself.
A woman who knows exactly what she wants will get her thrills not from a chase but from a purpose that drives her.
When you find your danger in despicable men you don’t chase love. You escape into a fantasy to run away from yourself. This is probably because you have not been taught to:
Respect yourself
Have high standards.
Be confident enough to have worthy pursuits.
Take rejection in your stride.
Normalize dating & avoid lotharios.
A woman who likes to chase love may sound pathetic to some, but it is only heart-wrenchingly sad.
If you want to quit chasing men who don’t dig you back, this secret may help you cut the chase. Chances are that men who treat women wrong are failures at life & love themselves.
I gave him my heart, and he took and pinched it to death, and flung it back to me. People feel with their hearts, Ellen: and since he has destroyed mine, I have not power to feel for him.- Wuthering Heights
You chase love to chase the addiction.
I was addicted. My first crush was an ass. He gave me the vibes then promptly chased another. I spent hours weeping over him & swore never to look a man in the eye again. A month later I was chasing another bad boy. My love story was an incomplete sentence. I had to finish it, albeit with another object of affection.
When you chase love, it becomes an addiction you need to feed. You knowingly inflict pain on yourself just to get the adrenalin rush of a chase. Like an addict, you tell yourself this will be the last poison. But you love the drama that gets you out of your head. So tomorrow never comes.
Have you heard of the term “sadomasochism?” This complicated word refers to a condition where you get pleasure from receiving pain. It is abusive. So you are abusing yourself by chasing an addiction. The addiction might also keep you away from finding real love.
Get help if you must.
You chase love to get validation.
Admit it. When you chase love in those who are unavailable or treat you wrong, you hold onto the hope that they will come around & see how wonderful you are.
Firstly, that is not going to happen. You are chasing those who have little time or interest in you. All you are doing is repel them like the skunk does the fox. When you chase what you are looking for is validation. You need their acceptance to prop up your self-worth. This means:
You may have low self-worth, to begin with
You are looking for a quick fix rather than reminding yourself of the great qualities that make YOU.
You don’t accept yourself for who you are. Your self-acceptance is conditional.
You internalize what people think or say about you.
Please pause to reflect if the chase is worthwhile. Wouldn’t you rather work out your issues?
If you chase & lose the race, stop to listen. The Universe speaks, you only have to be mindful to hear. It’s a call. To tell you that how you feel about yourself is a reflection of who you attract into your life.
I am a freelance writer who likes to write about relationships. You can see more of my work at my website. If you want me to be your writer talk here.