The 8 Easy Parenting Rules To Raise Plucky & Happy Kids
How to make the fleeting childhood years memorable & fruitful
My son & me
I had an unhappy childhood, imprisoned by harsh parenting rules. Even as a toddler, I was walking on eggshells.
I did grow up & make it out of hell on my own. But I was left handling self-esteem issues. I could never make the life I wanted to live. I was an unhappy underachiever for a huge part of my adult life. When my son was born, I promised myself that life would be different for him. He would not only have a stable home but would also be happy & live to his potential.
I consulted coaches, therapists & read books to arrive at parenting rules that would work for my family.
I wanted simple, easy to implement parenting rules that were also different from the stifling ones I was subject to as a child. The hours & days of research finally lead me to these 8 parenting rules that have given my family phenomenal results.
I believe to raise happy, healthy, confident children we need counterintuitive ways, different from what we know & how we were raised.
So let’s jump right into it.
Ignore everybody else
When we are in conversation with adults we actively disengage with our kids. We call their interruption rude. But when my child interrupts my conversation as children often do, I give him my attention at once. I cut short the other conversation. How does this matter?
My child knows his voice is important.
He is secure in the knowledge that he is the most important human in the world to me.
He learns his personhood matters as much as an adult’s.
We tend to downplay children & their world. But there is no real reason to do so.
Eye level matters
As adults we talk down to children. We instruct them, scold them & sometimes yell at them. We even motivate them from afar with platitudes. I converse with my son by bending down to his eye level. I don’t scold & definitely don’t yell, only explain. Yes, even when he tires me out.
Why do I do this?
My child understands better this way.
He becomes mindful.
He learns to look others in the eye & gain confidence.
Reject praise.
I don’t praise him; I only praise his efforts. There is an important distinction. When I praise my child, he starts to believe his talents are finite. When I praise his efforts, he is aware that:
His talents can become infinite with effort
He can excel at anything with hard work & focus.
Circumstances need not determine his abilities.
Permission matters is one of the best parenting rules.
We know that kids need to be taught good & bad touch. But this starts at home. Kids need to acquire the power to say NO if they don’t like being hugged/ kissed. This happens naturally when they are comfortable saying NO to their parents. I ask my child permission before I hug/ kiss him. Their permission matters. Even to you. Especially to you.
Cheer the mess.
My toddler is three. He is learning to do a lot of stuff for the first time. He feels grown up when he does things that we take for granted. In the process he messes up because he hasn’t acquired adult dexterity as yet. The secret is that I let him. Rather than losing my cool I cheer his efforts. The messing up means he wants to be independent & doesn’t care if he fails. That’s the secret recipe for success.
Face the risk
I let my son take a few risks at playtime. He climbs places, runs when he finds space, falls, acts up & is a little naughty. I cheer him for it. He has yelled with joy in public places & I let him. This is him exploring his limits. He is likely to become a strong, even-tempered adult who can take calculated risks.
Don’t force respect.
Now this parenting rule is one you can skip if it makes you uncomfortable. I follow it because of my difficult upbringing. I was taught to respect all adults. Even if they didn’t respect me back or violated my boundaries. I don’t force that on my son. I believe he needs to respect those worthy of respect. Adults have their insecurities & vested interests. My son need not fall prey to any of them.
Let the force not be with you.
In their quest to helicopter parent, adults push disengaged children into various activities. While I do have a list of what I would like my son to learn I don’t force any on him. I suggest & then ask his preferences.
These rules have helped my son immensely.
He is growing intelligent, happy, confident & secure.
He had stopped toddler tantrums.
My toddler started to eat by himself at 1.5 years of age.
He loves new experiences & knows no fear.
He is a sporty, friendly child.
What makes me happiest is that he listens because he knows we don’t speak from ego but with his best interests at heart.
Your child will grow up in the blink of an eye. When you learn the fine art of parenting you can make their fleeting childhood years memorable.
I am a freelance writer & mom who loves to share parenting hacks & tips. If you are looking for a writer for your parenting blog, we may be the right fit for each other. Get in touch with me for your writing needs.
Uffff that first paragraph sounds like you are describing me, thanks for your posts ❤️