The Blunders That Prevent You From Making More Money
Simple life hacks to help you make more money than what you earn right now
Monsters - Illustration by YONG (blush.design)
Well hello, how is your week shaping up?
Mine has been hectic to say the least. My son has started with school. Schooltime is crazier for mommies than it is for their kids. And I’ve become an unsuspecting victim of the ‘helicopter mom’ syndrome.
Trying to show myself some compassion for wanting to be the best for my young.
Which makes me think about the aspects of my personality I love to hate.
For years I made the blunders of being too naïve and forgiving. This is the part of me I am unable to completely abandon yet want to feverishly disown. I am a gullible forgiver. I saw only emptiness and loneliness in the process but I did not know how to stop.
I have not been able to sustain friendships or gain opportunities because I have lost my sense of self while relentlessly forgiving & trusting others.
I especially remember my tryst with this one friend. In India where I come from, punctual people are a joke. It is considered acceptable to show up late or even not at all to appointments. I am serious about commitments, so I arrive on time for every one of them. It makes me often feel like a misfit & an aberration in my country.
I am unable to fully fathom why we otherwise amazing Indians do this. We can blame it on the disorganized traffic that puts everyone ‘on the spot’. It could be that we take on more than we chew. I strongly suspect thought I don’t have proof, we arrive late to look important.
But I am digressing. To come back to my friend.
She was, and I suspect still is, in the habit of showing up late or doing no shows.
And I was in the habit of forgiving, of which she has taken advantage. The dance of her testing my boundaries & me letting her off the hook went on until I felt pushed to the brink. At this point our friendship did a nose dive.
We don’t meet anymore but I know about her life. She is unhappy and earns lesser than her peers.
This is probably the only thing we had in common.
For the past four decades of my life I have been underpaid and overworked.
Couple of years ago I had a breakdown. I had two choices- step into the abyss or turn my life around. I chose the latter.
And learnt two lessons from my past blunders.
We unconsciously develop these two human habits that impact our income.
Doing the no show.
Like my friend. I think contrary to what we Indians believe, when we are late or fail to turn up we seem frivolous & lacking in integrity. My friend with her no shows not only lost friendships like mine. She lost the patience & trust of people who could have made a difference to her income. She lost jobs, people and opportunities. The last I know, she was earning only a fraction of what she was capable of.
If you think about it, most people who do a no show seem surprisingly unaware of its negative impact on how much they earn.
How you do one thing is how you do everything.
My friend’s attitude to her social commitments was also her attitude to work. Any surprises that she failed to prosper? My attitude of forgiveness & trust spilled into other aspects of my life. I’ve placed my trust in people & opportunities that did not show up for me. We neither of us were able to prosper because of our self-defeating behaviors.
As an observer of the great dance of life, this is what I feel is the truth. We cannot compartmentalize different aspects of our lives. How we do one thing is how we do everything else.
After years of random living, I’ve discovered life hacks to overcome my behavioral blocks. Some of these may help you too, if you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by life lately.
I don’t take on more than I can chew.
I use the wheel of life to focus on what’s important to me.
I wake & sleep at the same time every day. It helps me plan my day better.
I don’t trust in the first instance. I give people a chance to prove themselves worthy of my time. I keep my circle small & close.
I fill free time with activities so as not to be needy for people. The balance never tilts in favor of those who don’t value me.
When someone doesn’t show up once, I don’t take it personally. But if they want another chance, I throw them a challenge, so they get an opportunity to prove their integrity.
I live ethically. This value takes me places, helps me meet the right crowd, makes opportunities seemingly fall in my lap & helps me earn good money.
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Hey Zarine, here is Kristina. Oh, I'm also often in helicopter mode. Haha. Part of being a mom, I guess. I couldn't manage to go to bed and wake up every time at the same time because of my kiddo... 😂